49. Return to Tomorrow. TNG broke conventions so so rarely that it was a real treat when they did.  Or, it was a disaster because they were so bad at it.  TOS, on the other hand, is pretty much the opposite.  They break conventions so often you objectively kinda wonder what the conventions are.  Really it’s one of the strengths of the show that there are conventions when they break them so often.  K watches an episode with me here and there and it seems like I have to tell her how the characters are “supposed” to be acting all the time, because she never seems to see it.  How did they ever even get established then?  Basically: incredibly strong, identifiable characters, flawlessly portrayed, and a ridiculously well-imagined universe.  They strike a terrific balance throughout the series of establishing these strong characters, then immediately getting them into situations where that is challenged.  You understand pretty fast what’s “supposed” to be happening, and since it isn’t, why it’s interesting.  Anyway, Return to Tomorrow hits the nail on the head of broken conventions.  Or wait, totally misses the nail, I guess.  I should not have attempted this analogy.  Point is, this is a great episode.  The Enterprise encounters a race of near-super beings who need physical hosts to escape from their dead world.  Of course, the beings turn out to be a bit untrustworthy.  Or, as it turns out, maybe they don’t.  Lots of interesting twists here.  Maybe most unusual, the convention of the valiant humans controlling everything and winning is also pushed aside.  Instead the crew is mostly subject to the whim and consequence of these beings.  The story is played out above the influence of the crew, they just have to go along with it.  Some fun extras: Nimoy getting to play essentially a totally different character; Chapel with a real sneaky “I secretly love Spock” moment; McCoy and Scotty getting to be at their best.  Killer Spock line: “I do not know.” (Kirk gives him a surprised look.) “Not even a Vulcan can know the unknown, Captain.” Overall: one of the few that I thought about re-watching immediately to absorb the ending.  Terrific.  5 out of 5.

Trek tropes (number of instances encountered in series so far in parentheses):

• Shatner showcase (3)
• Kirk hits if off with alien babe (uh, not really, actually, but I’m going to count this whenever Shatner kisses a guest star) (3)

50. Patterns of Force. Here’s another that can be boiled down to a simple description (like the recent “the one where they get old”, “the 1920s Chicago gangster episode”).  “Patterns of Force” is “the Nazi episode.” So anyway, a premise: any story requires some buy-in from the audience.  Sci-fi stories have the problem that they are asking the audience to believe something completely out of ordinary experience.  Although, maybe you get some leeway there, because you can always make up new rules.  Like, there can be drama because that’s not how they normally behave on this planet, even though it’s totally alien, right?  Right.  “Patterns of Force” struggles with buy-in, to me.  The whole premise is a little wonky.  The idea is that a Federation guy, John Gill, has come to this planet and managed to implement a Nazi system of government, but not the evil parts, just the really efficient good parts.  Problem is that’s not really how it worked on Earth, of course.  It was so efficient because Hitler convinced most of the population that there were racial scourges that needed to be wiped out, and their efficiency contributed to the overall good of the Fatherland.  Sure, maybe German engineering was really fantastic in the 1930s, but if you also motivate people with threats of terror or death, they’re going to give that special extra effort.  And that’s exactly what happens in this instance: a corrupt member exploits the system and turns it into a war effort against a neighboring planet.  Gill is drugged and neutralized and made into nothing but a figurehead.  But rest assured, Kirk and crew figure out what’s happening and take down the bad guy, to let the nice Nazis regain control.  Mostly I think this episode is an exercise in letting the Enterprise get in a last solid kick on the Nazis.  Take that, history!  The episode borderlines on whimsical as Kirk and Spock spend their time trying to infiltrate Nazi headquarters.  There are plenty of good gags to be had (Nazis=funny!) and Spock spends a lot of time with his shirt off.  Killer Spock line: “Captain, I’m beginning to understand why you Earthmen enjoy gambling.  No matter how carefully one computes the odds of success, there is still a certain exhilaration in the risk!” Overall: kind of a goofy one that is entertaining but there’s not much to take away. 3 out of 5.

Trek tropes (number of instances encountered in series so far in parentheses):

• Recent Earth history will always be relevant (4)
• Violation of Prime Directive (mostly by others, but Kirk figures he better just do what he has to) (4)
• Lighthearted banter to close episode (4)
• Spock’s suspicious Vulcan nature can be disguised with a good hat (2)

51. By Any Other Name. TOS loves to make the point that humans are just a pretty damn great race.  The combination of intelligence, compassion, emotion, and passion is unmatched by any other species.  It also loves to teach us lessons about moderation and controlling all those human things.  Here we get it all.  The Enterprise encounters a few Kelvans, aliens from the Andromeda galaxy, looking to conquer new territory in our galaxy.  They have a technology that paralyzes humans so they can effectively control them, so Kirk and company are powerless to stop them from taking over the ship and returning to Andromeda to report back home.  They can also neutralize humans altogether by converting them into little matter cubes (that they can crush to fully kill, or restore back to life; kind of like a human save point), so they do this with the entire crew other than Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Scotty.  The four take it upon themselves to trick the Kelvans into stopping what they are doing so they can be welcomed into the Federation as friends instead of enemies.  So we get four different tracks of plot as each tries to use his talent against the Kelvans.  It’s a lot of fun: Kirk smooches the alien babe to make their commander jealous, Spock wipes the floor with said commander at Trek Chess, McCoy drugs up another guy, and Scotty tries to drink his guy under the table.  If you just go along with everything, it’s entertaining and funny and a swell episode.  If you look at it too close, it all falls apart.  Truth is, it’s full of little plot holes and meandering divergences.  Like: we’re all friends in the end, even though in the beginning you turned one of our landing party into a cube and crushed her with your bare hands just to prove a point.  Luckily it’s not the point.  This is a simple trope-heavy episode of entertainment: fightin’, drinkin’, alien babes, and humans winning.  Killer Spock line:  didn’t note one.  Not a heavy Spock episode.  Sorry, Spock.  Scotty gets the glory here as he burns his entire substantial liquor stash trying to out-drunk one of the Kelvans.  Overall: you want to be entertained, right?  Well, here it is.  If you want a good sci-fi story, take it up with Geordi. 4 out of 5.

Trek tropes (number of instances encountered in series so far in parentheses):

• Spock displays Vulcan superpower never really seen again (3)
• Anonymous redshirt killed (well, she has a name, but it’s not that important) (3)
• Even in interstellar space, the best way to resolve problems is with your fists (2)
• Kirk hits it off with alien babe (4)
• The indomitable human spirit conquers all (2)

52. The Omega Glory. So where “By Any Other Name” succeeds at TOS just being TOS, “The Omega Glory” fails.  It’s certainly a classic example of TOS’ swashbuckling action-oriented nature, but in the end it’s not nearly as much fun, and the plot goes completely haywire.  Part of the problem is that it tries to make a serious point about the unassailable righteousness of the Prime Directive, when like 1 out of every 4 other episodes goes right ahead and ignores it.  Another part of the problem is that if you want to just pad out your episode with fistfights, you may as well just be watching The A-Team.  Anyway the whole premise is insane, and takes a truly bizarre turn at the end.  The Enterprise visits Omega IV, looking for the crew of the Exeter and its Captain, Ron Tracey.  The Exeter turns out to be deserted, with only remnants of the crew’s bodies left behind.  Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and an anonymous redshirt (uh-oh) beam down to the planet after uncovering a warning message about the disease that wiped out the crew, where they find Captain Tracey.  He’s gone loony, though, and has not only messed up the entire power dynamic of the planet, but is convinced Omega IV is some sort of fountain of youth.  Then there’s some fightin’ as Kirk picks this occasion to decide you should never ever violate the Prime Directive.  Eventually he takes down Tracey, and they further realize that the disease and fountain of youth thing weren’t actually anything important (oh well! sorry about all that suspense earlier).  So with the native situation stabilized, it’s time to head home.  Only then things go off the deep end.  It turns out the natives evolved pretty much exactly as humans did, right down to the struggle between Americans (“Yangs” or “Yanks” in local terms) and Communism (the “Khoms”).  They even HAVE THE SAME FLAG AND AN EXACT COPY OF THE CONSTITUTION for some reason.  Only they are too primitive to read or understand it, but Kirk educates them.  In the end, Kirk smirks proudly at the American flag, his work here is complete.  Wait, what?  Seriously, what happened here?  There’s no explanation for anything.  Apparently the idea is that America is so great that alien cultures would definitely come up with the exact same idea independently, and Kirk says, “Heck yeah, why not?  America’s number one!!!”  Killer Spock line: “I’m making a suggestion.” Overall: I don’t think “disaster” is too strong a word.  Although: kudos to Capt. Tracey for a truly whacked-out creepy performance. 1 out of 5.

Trek tropes (number of instances encountered in series so far in parentheses):

• Recent Earth history will always be relevant (5)
• Anonymous redshirt killed (4)
• Even in interstellar space, the best way to resolve problems is with your fists (3)
• Violation of Prime Directive (5)
• Spock displays Vulcan superpower never really seen again (4)

46. A Piece of the Action. TOS doesn’t have a holodeck, but they make out all right.  Instead they just time travel or manage to find planets that are so Earthlike they may as well have time traveled.  I even know what I’m in for in some future TOS episodes, and I watched every single one of the holodeck TNG episodes, and “A Piece of the Action” is the leader in the clubhouse for the stupidest.  Somehow a long-ago visit to a planet where that crew wasn’t too careful about the prime directive and left behind (among other things) a book about 1920s Chicago crime bosses has led to said planet wholly adopting the 1920s Chicago society, complete with numerous crime bosses.  It gives Kirk a chance to act really hammy and try out a goofy gangster accent, and it gives Spock another chance to be fish out of Vulcan waters, but this episode is a total misfire.  The comedy isn’t funny enough to be worthwhile (compare “The Trouble With Tribbles” or Star Trek IV) and the plot is utterly ridiculous.  How could this ever happen?  And even if it did, could we portray it with somewhat more originality than a Bugs Bunny cartoon?  People get kidnapped at least four separate times.  Which is actually no biggie because simple ruses are adequate to escape.  There’s some negotiation at the end and somehow Kirk mucks with things even more than they are already mucked with.  One of the Tor.com reviewers for this episode gave it their highest rating, but I just don’t see it.  He made what seems like a good point, that this is a chance to have some fun while demonstrating the negative consequences of violating the prime directive.  But where is the lesson, then?  Kirk repeatedly violates the prime directive (including this very episode) now, in the past, and in the future.  If he takes any heed of what happens here, he stops doing it.  Nah, it’s just a flat whiff.  Killer Spock line: “Sir, you are employing a double negative.” Overall: ick. Our low bar is set. 1 out of 5.

Trek tropes (number of instances encountered in series so far in parentheses):

• Violation of Prime Directive (it still counts if someone else did it first) (2)
• Recent Earth history will always be relevant (2)
• Spock’s suspicious Vulcan nature can be disguised with a good hat (1)

47. The Immunity Syndrome. If I fall asleep during an episode, does it mean I was tired or the episode was bad?  I mean, it can’t be a good thing, right?  But then, I fall asleep during movies I like all the time.  Anyway, I fell asleep here, and I was tired, but I don’t think the pacing and lack of intrigue in this episode help.  The crew encounter what amounts to a giant space amoeba.  They investigate.  It’s something, all right.  I mean, yeah, a giant space amoeba!  Everyone almost dies.  But then they don’t. Here is another challenge of TV: you know that not everyone is going to die, so how do you make an episode feel like it matters?  I guess…things just need to be interesting enough that you don’t really care that you know things will be all right, really.  Well, whatever those things are, they aren’t here.  Sometimes just having some crazy thing isn’t enough, you know?  Also didn’t they make a big deal about how the whole crew was really exhausted at the beginning? What happened with that?  So that has no bearing on the actual episode?  Oh, OK.  That’s fine, it doesn’t matter really.  I’m sorry to be so jaded, 1968 Star Trek episode, but I just didn’t feel this one.  Killer Spock line: “Do not suffer so.  This is not the first time superior capability has proven more valuable than professional credential.” Overall: shrug. 2 out of 5.

Trek tropes (number of instances encountered in series so far in parentheses):

• Strange probe encountered in space (it counts that it’s actually a giant space amoeba) (3)
• “Doctor” McCoy admits he has no idea how Vulcan physiology works (1)
• Spock displays Vulcan superpower never really seen again (1)
• Highly experimental plan with low probability of success somehow works anyway (4)

48. A Private Little War. At some point I’m going to have to talk about TOS’s treatment of gender.  Frankly, it’s not the strength of the series.  They try, galaxy knows they do, but this was 1960s TV and just having unmarried women in real jobs was a pretty big deal still.  I think you have to at least acknowledge that TOS needed some work consistently portraying good female characters when it comes to episodes like “A Private Little War.”  Wins: Uhura is a useful part of a discussion on the bridge.  Chapel provides valuable medical assistance.  Losses: the lead female guest star is quite literally a sexy conniving witch.  I really have no defense for some female characters from the classic sci-fi era, both in TV and books.  It’s definitely a limitation of the genre at times and if anyone wants to be critical of it I’m not going to stop them.  But at the same time, I don’t think anyone set out to write bad female characters, it just kind of happens.  There are plenty of flat male characters too.  The thing is, character isn’t the point in a lot of these things and you have to be cool with that.  It would be swell if we could have great characterization while we’re getting all this other interesting sci-fi stuff, and top sci-fi delivers, but they can’t all be winners.  Like this episode.  It’s not great.  Good, yes.  There are a lot of neat ideas here, actually.  Mainly: what do you do if your enemies are violating the Prime Directive?  Do you do it too, just to balance the playing field?  It’s not right of course, but you could argue it’s better than the alternative of doing nothing and letting one side just wipe out the other.  I didn’t have it in specifically in mind while I watched but wikipedia reminds me that it’s basically the same story as the Vietnam War, and yes, of course it is, and in that regard they succeed.  There’s also a scary creature, the Mugatu, thrown in for some fighting and danger.  Killer Spock line: (After being slapped repeatedly by guest star Doctor–and this really was a medical thing): “That will be quite enough.  Thank you, Doctor.” (There are plenty of good lines in the show aside from Spock’s; I’m just choosing to select his.  But I have to say the whole Spock-slapping sequence was golden for both lines and action.  Nurse Chapel slaps his in this sort of girly nurse-ish way.  Scotty happens to walk in and shrieks, “What are you doing, woman?!” and there is no reason for Scotty to be around except to have a reason for Scotty to do his patented over-the-top shrieking and tear Chapel away from Spock’s moribund body.  Then the doctor comes in and really lets Spock have it.  It’s explained that this is necessary for Vulcans to regain consciousness. And I am totally cool with that.)  Overall: some great, some good, some bad, some just weird. 2 out of 5.

Trek tropes (number of instances encountered in series so far in parentheses):

• Violation of Prime Directive (it still counts if someone else did it first) (3)
• “Doctor” McCoy admits he has no idea how Vulcan physiology works (2)
• Spock displays Vulcan superpower never really seen again (2)
• Recent Earth history will always be relevant (3)
• Kirk hits it off with alien babe (2)

44. The Trouble With Tribbles. Perhaps the most famous TOS episode, and worth the hype.  Simply a great episode on numerous levels.  It’s funny, has a good story, and is utterly memorable. The Enterprise is summoned to space station K-7 on a Priority One call, the most Super Serious Important Call there is in space, only to find that the local administrator, Nilz Baris, is just extra concerned about some grain intended for nearby Sherman’s Planet, disputed between the Federation and the Klingons.  Although Baris has the authority to issue a Priority One call, Kirk is incredibly miffed about it and spends the rest of the episode being snotty towards Baris.  Some Klingons arrive to stir up some things and Kirk is forced to deal with the grain and the Klingons per Baris’ wishes and despite his general irritation.  Meanwhile a local shyster has sold some pleasing little creatures called Tribbles to various Enterprise crew members and K-7 folks.  Problem is that the Tribbles are multiplying rapidly and have soon found their way into every system on both the Enterprise and K-7.  Kirk and Spock spend the episode frantically running around trying to deal with all the problems until things actually manage to resolve themselves in a way that cleverly sews up everything.  Essentially this episode comes down to which of the many goofy scenes you like best.  I like the bar brawl incited by the Klingons’ insults of the Enterprise, particularly fun given that Scotty throws the first punch, only after letting the Klingons’ insults of Kirk slide first.  Killer Spock line: “Its trilling seems to have a tranquilizing effect on the human nervous system. Fortunately, of course…I am immune…to its effect.” A classic episode with great humor.  I’ve watched it twice recently and it’s totally re-watchable. 5 out of 5.

Trek tropes (number of instances encountered in series so far in parentheses):

• Lighthearted banter to close episode (3).  Actually most of the episode is lighthearted banter.

45. The Gamesters of Triskelion. This is the kind of episode people have in mind when they write off TOS as a swashbuckling adventure series, only set in space, rather than an intellectual sci-fi show.  They’re totally right.  Nonetheless, it’s still a fun episode, if a little predictable and basically a stage for some fightin’.  Kirk, Chekhov, and Uhura are plucked from the Enterprise by an alien species that wants to train them to be gladiators for their wagering games.  Eventually the trio’s continued irascible urge to rebel and escape convinces the Providers that humans are just too darn plucky to make effective slave gladiators, and Kirk sets up a final mega-fight with winner-take-all stakes.  Spoiler!  He wins.  Meanwhile Spock uses scant clues to trace their disappearance, despite the continued doubts of McCoy and Scotty, even though Spock is always right about these kinds of things.  Anyway, there’s a whole lot of stuff about how humans will always reject any form of slavery, and that love is good, especially when the alien babe involved is hot and not weird and yellow.  There’s some misfired humor with Chekov’s alien companion, partially ineffective because Uhura is being terrorized by hers.  Ha-ha!  I mean, whuh?  But really none of it matters.  Kirk passionately argues for a big fight and gets it.  Ho hum.  Spock’s killer line: “I presume you mean they vanished in a manner not consistent with the usual working of the transporter, Mr. Scott.”  Overall it’s more like a western or a modern reality show but has interesting stories going.  Initially I gave it only 3 but after a few days’ consideration, I’ll make it 4 out of 5.  It’s stuck with me and actually makes for a pretty memorable episode.

Trek tropes (number of instances encountered in series so far in parentheses):

• Kirk hits it off with alien babe (1)
• Even in interstellar space, the best way to resolve problems is with your fists (1)
• The indomitable human spirit conquers all (1)