S3E14, “Heart of Stone” (story: Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe)

Interesting that in the very next episode after the disastrous A/B story pairing that was “Life Support” they just go right in on another serious A/Nog B story. But they got it straightened out this time and it works here: both stories are good, and they work together pretty well. Probably it helps that the two stories move away from extremes. No shocking story A death, and while we are still disgusted by Ferengi culture in B, it’s more like, Nog is fighting against it rather than embracing it. So we can root for him.

A. I’ve probably brought this up before but let’s pretend I’m having an original thought: Trek mastered the art of disproving the fallacy that no good stories can be told in the age of cell phones. Even TOS had communicators, so they’ve had to deal with this problem long before there was even such a thing as a cell phone. Admittedly, they usually cheat. In SF you can always be in a cave or conjure up some atmospheric interference BS. Well they do both, trapping Kira and Odo both in a cave AND with some atmospheric interference AND further, Kira is stuck in some rocks AND the rocks behave sort of like organic quicksand, rapidly growing around anything they touch. As established back when he got trapped in an elevator with Lwaxana Troi for hours and hours, this is the sort of hopeless, desperate situation required to get Odo to open up about his feelings.

Over the course of the shittiest day ever, Kira and Odo try everything they can think of to free her from the rocks, but nothing seems to work. By the end of the day she’s up to her neck and dying. Odo won’t leave her though, and admits to what we’ve suspected for a little while now, that he’s started to fall in love with her. Aw, Odo! Then she says she loves him, too! Awwwww! So he points his phaser at her. Because, as the sad but realistic dude he is, this is so improbable she simply must be some kind of Kira imposter. And he’s right. (Thought some kind of rock-induced space madness seems like a better first guess, though I’m not as crafty as Odo.) Kira (and rocks) are actually the female changeling he met on his homeworld, just dropping in to re-up on her invite to join them, but also to test his feelings for the solids. She reveals where the actual Kira is (sedated), but then gut-punches him one last time with something about how Kira could never love a changeling like him, then jets.

I’m not sure how this is supposed to convince Odo to join the changelings. “We like epic practical jokes and will lay the nastiest, deepest-cutting insults on you, just to keep you grounded. Join us for more hazing!” But it does set up a few future arcs for the show. One, the Odo and Kira thing is now out there. At least for Odo and the audience. The Trek version of a deeply revealing Shakespearian soliloquy being, an enemy race sedates your object of affection and reproduces an exact double, then baits you into outing your feelings towards them for the benefit of the audience. And Two, that the changelings are going to start messing with our heroes whenever it suits them. They are the new Q.

B. Tired of watching the hapless Rom get browbeaten by Quark, Nog decides a career in Starfleet is his path out of a crummy life getting kicked around by the family boss. Only Ferengi don’t join Starfleet, because where’s the profit? So Quark is offended, naturally, but Rom has a backbone when it comes to his son, at least.

I don’t know if this was what they were specifically aiming for, but Nog’s plight is actually a really accurate representation of what life is like for first generation college students. Especially for students with immigrant parents. Not only does he have to overcome family divisions, he doesn’t know the customs, doesn’t have any contacts, and has no idea what’s expected of him. (“I want to be the first Ferengi in Starfleet. Now who do I see about getting a uniform?”) He needs a reference, so he approaches Sisko, but usually a prospective cadet would bring his resume. Nog brings a pile of latinum—hard currency being proof of one’s reputation in Ferengi culture, rather than professional experience or social status. Unfortunately for Nog, aboard DS9 his reputation is more future Ponzi scheme kingpin than future Starfleet officer.

But with some Nog-brand persistence and advice from Dax, Sisko relents and says he’ll help Nog build up something he can put on a Federation application other than his record of petty cash-grabbing hustles, and assigns him some standard tedious intern toil taking cargo inventories. As it turns out, Nog thrives at toil, having honed his skills as Quark’s underling’s underling. He also comes clean with Sisko, admitting that he sees Starfleet as his route out of a life of such toil. A natural softy, Sisko buys this and agrees to provide a reference.

Overall: Steadying the ship after “Life Support.” 4 out of 5.

S3E15, “Destiny” (story: David S. Cohen and Martin A. Winer)

I was going to write about how I’m bored by prophecy fulfillment as a plot driver in fiction. At least, as a concept, it seems like a difficult thing to pull off in a way that makes one’s audience feel like they don’t already know how it’s going to end. It’s fiction! The prophecy itself is fiction. You can tweak it as necessary to conform to the plot as it evolves, so how can there ever be real suspense or stakes.

This seemed like a good point until I thought of Dune.

Why is Dune one of the great books and “Destiny” is predictably boring prophecy fulfillment fiction? First thought: Dune is probably the best ever world-building novel. “Destiny” is one of many, many episodes of a Star Trek show. So, it’s not an especially fair question. The scopes are entirely different. Why is a Boston creme pie better than a dollop of frosting scooped out of the jar with your grubby finger? But even handicapping Dune in terms of everything it accomplishes (and everything it has time to accomplish in an entire book), maybe it’s because the prophecy is itself alien and mysterious. How am I supposed to be primed for the arrival of the Kwisatz Haderach* when I have no bloody idea what that is. They drop all these hints of what’s happening, but the reader/viewer is learning about everything Dune/Fremen/giant sandworms right along with Paul, so you might know what the prophecy says but the purpose of the story is to learn what it even means.

I don’t think we get that with “Destiny.” We just get a jumble of nonsense phrases that eventually come to fit the facts in the same conveniently vague way someone can read any horoscope. But like, of course everything was going to (more or less) come to pass, or why bring it up in the story. I guess I’m still just not all that into the Bajoran mysticism thing. It’s a dang wormhole, not a Space Temple. You’re not going to satisfy me here.

Couple of things I did like though:

• The Cardassian engineer developing a crush on clueless O’Brien subplot. I liked the reverse sexism mix-in where she’s surprised a male could have the temperament for engineering. Also the concept that constant annoyance is the Cardassian version of flirtation.
• Anything that fills in a little more of Cardassian life. We rarely see anyone other than military lifers and spies. Still waiting for something like a blue collar Cardassian. But then, we never even see blue collar Federation people, so, not holding my breath.

*Here’s how many times I’ve read Dune: I nearly spelled this right without Googling.

Morn watch: Morn gets poisoned by Quark’s shady expired Kanar. Kira expresses surprise, thinking nothing could make him sick. Goodness, what is the backstory there?

Overall: This one felt like a long way to go to get across the idea that Sisko really will be an important influence on Bajor’s future. I never really got into the story, felt like a bit of a miss. 3 out of 5.

S3E16, “Prophet Motive” (story: Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe)

Grand Nagus Zek shows up with a revision of The Rules of Acquisition, which he claims is a revolutionary new modern update. He allows Quark and Rom first look at it, before it is presented to the entire Ferengi Alliance. However, their excitement is replaced by horror as they read rules like “If they want their money back give it to them” and “Never place profit before friendship.” They naturally theorize Zek has lost his mind. In conjunction with Zek’s suddenly philanthropic mood, they are sure of it.

Basically this setup is an extended excuse for some Ferengi antics, and as such this episode feels more like a sitcom. I mean this in the best possible way. It’s practically an episode of Frasier. How many episodes did Frasier set out to curb his temper, or try to establish a new relationship without making some fatal hubristic mistake, only to have fate conspire against him? His world simply will not let him change. It’d be sad if he was a real guy, but everything is so ridiculous it circles back around to funny. It also turns out to be funny when a crazy Ferengi buys the bar a round of drinks, and his sane associates react like 1950s high school dance chaperones when some daring kids goad the band into playing some rock and roll.

Of course, Zek isn’t in his right mind, and Quark eventually figures out that some wormhole aliens scrambled him up, thinking they were healing him. They were under the impression that no sane being would behave like a Ferengi, particularly Zek’s maximum version of it. They want to do it to Quark too, for the same reasons, but Quark convinces them that it will just cause more Ferengi to show up and the aliens will have to keep dealing with them. No one wants this, so they change Zek back and wash their hands of these trolls. An amazing, perfect resolution. This whole situation is some richly brilliant humor, at a level any Frasier fan will appreciate. Well done, DS9, I’m really proud of you.

Also there’s some B story about Bashir getting nominated for a prestigious medical award. This part was fine, if sorta forgettable. Though good for Bashir’s character to continue to establish that he really is a notably excellent doctor, but isn’t so egotistical as they initially developed him early in the series. It’s mostly just a good chance for the rest of the crew to needle him. Everyone still enjoys this. (Memory Alpha tells me that this whole storyline was actually a long in-joke to parallel an unexpected award nomination TNG had received.)

Self-sealing stem bolts alert: In a delightful, long-overdue callback to “Progress,” we learn that the haul of self-sealing stem bolts are still in storage, awaiting some new sucker to buy them. Quark has a verbal agreement in place to unload them, but Zek undercuts him before he can close the deal. I am hoping these bolts will turn up about once a season for the remainder of the series. Then, in the deepest of ironies, Nog falls into some kind of scheme wherein he (1) finally discovers what they are for and (2) needs a bunch of them, forcing him to try to talk his uncle into parting with them.

Morn watch: When the Nagus buys the whole bar a round, Morn is naturally there to benefit.

Overall: DS9’s humor is growing up. Too bad the Bashir story was a bit thin. 4 out of 5.

S3E17, “Visionary” (story: Ethan H. Calk)

A good skiffy one with a lot of terrestrial action going for it, including, but not limited to, time travel, spies, conspiracies, and bar brawls.

So a plasma conduit blows while O’Brien is fixing something and he takes a blast of radiation. As established in fiction, radiation causes awesome side effects, under the theory that no one says a DNA mutation has to necessarily be negative. Why couldn’t it, say, turn someone into a spider-like man or grant an ability to shift temporally through the universe. I guess so! Anything’s possible. Anyway it beats the alternative of watching a beloved character suffer radiation poisoning and organ failure. The episode at least softens O’Brien’s new superpower by not really letting him control it, and also kinda dying while it’s happening.

Anyway I liked this SF idea that you can jump forward briefly, get information, and pop back with that information to act on it. It’s a pretty good deal (if you can solve the dying, which they do, somehow). Quark, as the show’s id, naturally wants O’Brien to take a peek at the dabo numbers while he’s up ahead. But there is more pressing business with some rabblerousing Klingons and pushy Romulans roaming about, and O’Brien is too busy watching future bar fights and station evacuations to cheat at dabo. So the episode is framed by O’Brien’s jumps, and the increasingly chaotic situation on DS9. Each jump brings back more dire information, which the regulars then work to prevent. This episode clearly lands on the Back to the Future theory of time travel, that you can leap forward, see something bad, and do something about it back in the present, ensuring that future never really happens. (For your particular present, anyway. Sorry, poor jerks of the future.)

Which brings up an interesting comparison to the whole prophecy angle brought up in “Destiny.” This story sat a lot better with me, but what’s the difference, really? From a story crafting perspective, you’re still creating something to build towards, and can tweak as necessary to get there (or in this case, avoid getting there). Isn’t that the same sort of cheating? I guess it has the potential to be, but this ends up working more like a reverse “Past Tense” where Sisko knows the future he has to get to, and just isn’t sure what will make it happen. Maybe this episode is just tighter or put together better. That might be something to dig into in detail once I get more than zero Patreon sponsors. Or maybe I’m simply more comfortable with stabs at science explanations, however full of TNG-ish technobabble they are. But mostly, to re-iterate the point above, I think that prophecies are hard to to without sounding like mystical horoscopes. Time travel is more like hard currency—you see it in front of you as fact.

Miscellaneous etcetera:

• The threaded Romulan story happening here was compelling enough, if a little confusing. We haven’t really settled on where the Romulans stand in the DS9 universe. They show up here and there, but usually as officious consultants rather than the outright menaces they are here. They’re a problem, but like, where do they fit into the hierarchy of headaches with the Cardassians, the Jem’Hadar, the Founders, Bajoran politics, exploding plasma coils, Ferengi malfeasance, Betazoid love spells, et. al.
• Anyway their presence for this episode provides a callback to events in both “Heart of Stone” and “The Search.” Both Odo’s crush on Kira and the disastrous season-opening skirmish with the Jem’Hadar are going to continue to have repercussions.
• Yet another drunken Klingon. The Klingons have had a crazy arc in Trek, from powerful threat in TOS to today’s marginalized dying culture. I think we can actually feel sorry for them at this point. I’ll be curious to see how things change when Worf becomes a regular next season.
• Darts is the new racquetball: a faddish station pastime that provides space for characters to bond and easily stage important plot-driving discussions. Probably just easier to have a conversation over darts than loud and visually distracting space racquetball.

Morn watch: Morn is impaled in the chest by one of Quark’s ineptly-thrown darts. But he barely notices and coolly plucks it out like he’s peeling off the day’s “HELLO MY NAME IS” sticker. We might conclude the entire outer hull of Morn’s body is a light armor helpful for whatever dirty-as-hell job he performs on the station. Whether the armor is some sort of suit or Morn’s naturally rhino-like hide is unclear.

Overall: Clever way to drive a story, if leaning on some TNG-style technobabble. 4 out of 5.