S4E9, “The Sword of Kahless” (story: Richard Danus)

Hell yeah, a good Klingon honor story. Good to have them back. Combined with Raiders of the Lost Ark. You have my attention.

This one picks up some threads from “Blood Oath” and the TNG episode “Rightful Heir.” Kor and Dax renew their friendship, and recruit Worf to help recover Kahless’ sword, a mythical Klingon artifact. Kor has come into some information about its whereabouts, but he also gets compromised by one of those mind reader creatures we saw back in the Julian Gets Old episode.

So the search for the sword ends up being rather anticlimactic. They find the ancient, lost, mythical artifact in about ten minutes. Their archaeological prowess was further challenged by a forcefield that we are told a team of Vulcan surveyors could not overcome. But our crew clears it in like five seconds. Literally by reversing its polarity. Showrunners: I mean, why even bother with a forcefield then, seriously. Well who ever said Vulcans were smart.

Anyway, the real crux of the show isn’t the getting the sword, it’s how a couple of Klingons react to being in its presence. It pretty much immediately turns them into Gollum drooling over his precious. Both think they can unite and lead the entire Klingon race just because they have this bad ass sword. I am not arguing whether it is a cool sword, because it absolutely is extremely cool, but let’s dial it back a bit. Since when are Klingons going to calmly accede to whomever has the good bat’leth? Well, they aren’t. It’s just going to raise the stakes on their already-pointless civil strife. Fortunately Dax figures this out before Worf and Kor kill each other. In the end, they agree to both give it up, beaming it out into space in a “FINE no one can have it then” compromise.

I liked the core of this episode and its general arc. The idea that a mythical artifact might be found, but it’s more trouble than it’s worth, is by no means a new idea, but well-executed here, and fits well into our established Klingon stories. It also adds some depth to Kor, and builds up some relationship with him to Worf, and both of them to the larger Gowron-created mess they are figuring out how to deal with. John Colicos as Kor is amazing. But the execution…eh, shrug. There’s a lot of TOS-style wandering around in caves. Yet again someone goes into the Gamma Quadrant with no backup whatsoever, so once they get stuck, they are really stuck. Also that mind reader creature—it’s an agent for a rogue band of Klingons who are also after the sword. This whole crew adds about nothing, just an excuse to sprinkle in some easily-duped and more-easily-slaughtered extras who provide a bit of convenient suspense whenever needed.

Overall: Some cruft but pretty solid Trek. 4 out of 5.

S4E10, “Our Man Bashir” (story: Bob Gillan)

I’ve long been bored by holodeck episodes because they always feel half-baked, leaning on their genre clichés without ever capturing what works well in that genre. Sometimes the story is decent but the cast and crew don’t have a feel for the quirks of the genre and it comes across as awkward or wooden. Hard-boiled noire detective stories lacking much atmosphere, mysteries that are boring, and in this case, a spy story without much intrigue or suspense.

“Our Man Bashir” doesn’t really know if it wants to be smooth and suspenseful James Bond or silly Austin Powers, and it doesn’t really work either direction. It has an effectively wild plot, but it’s also painfully contrived. It has a few gags, but mostly they fall flat. I will concede it has some lovingly crafted Bond-ian soft porn pun names, gadgets, seeing adversaries sneaking up in a reflection off a champagne bottle. It’s all homage, much like the Picard noire detective stories, and I can appreciate it as such.

Maybe if they had a good story to tell, but I don’t think they really do. There’s a nugget of interest in dealing with a transporter malfunction, but I think it doesn’t really develop into anything that feels right.

Overall: 2 out of 5. Maybe if holodeck episodes are your thing.

S4E11/12, “Homefront/Paradise Lost” (story: Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe)

A few interesting threads that tie together over two episodes:

Changelings are the new Body Snatchers. Changelings are everywhere and Earth security has no idea what it’s up against. I think I lost count of how many times Odo infiltrated President In-Over-His-Head Hippo’s office. Well, it’s not like Earth is worse than anyone else at wrangling them. DS9 hasn’t figured it out either, despite employing an actual Changeling in security. Basically, the prophecy that “we are everywhere” is totally true and I have no idea what they are ever going to do about it. Maybe develop some new Changeling-detection technology? Do we have that? We can store entire humans into spare holosuite memory, so let’s figure something out here.

Kristen and I especially liked the scene where O’Brien strolls up to Sisko, which was super weird because O’Brien wasn’t even on Earth at the time. He’s acting like he hit the Jameson’s earlier in the day than usual but is trying to hide it, so it’s not too big a surprise he turns out to be one of the Changelings, and claims there are four on Earth. Which on one hand, hey, only four. But on the other, it’s about four more than the Federation knows how to deal with. Anyway, fun performance by Colm Meaney being just a little off.

I want to eat at Grandpa Sisko’s restaurant. I liked the Benjamin/Jake/Joseph scenes a lot. Grandpa just wants to run his restaurant and has no interest in politics. This is to say: I like Grandpa. Adding him to the bigger story grounds it in a useful way and helps show how the Changeling infiltration is making everyone paranoid. Poor Grandpa just wants to cut vegetables and be left alone and Benjamin is badgering him to hand over some blood. Then again, if Grandpa would be less stubborn and submit to a quick painless medical test, his son’s job protecting the rest of the planet would’ve been that much less stressful. Parents just don’t understand.

My military coup will totally work even though it hinges on everyone else sort of just ignoring it. President In-Over-His-Head Hippo is kind of hopeless and ripe for some military dude with an inflated ego to try to undercut him. In the end it doesn’t work because Vice Admiral Leyton is playing checkers when everyone else is playing chess. Also he doesn’t know that checkers is a game. It might be some kind of dance, or a food.

When attempting a coup d’état, I would suggest:

1. Do not appoint the one person with the expertise to defeat you into the most vital role in the government.
2. Do not practice rigorous record-keeping of your transporter usage.
3. Do not lean heavily on inexperienced cadets who will immediately capitulate to authoritative questioning.

Leyton screws up all of them and Sisko and Odo sniff out the conspiracy without too much trouble. Sisko has more trouble making it home in time for dinner. So, I felt like this thread didn’t quite click. There’s too much villainous boasting and too little concern this plot has any chance of working.

Odo’s biology corner: We see the other Changelings do all kinds of advanced transformations and have begun to develop the theory that Odo’s inability to make a face is pretty much just a lack of proper Changeling education as a kid. He’s learning everything as he goes and the others are always going to be way ahead of him. By contrast the O’Brien Changeling was perfect, at least in appearance.

Also, Odo hacks into a Federation computer, claiming that he learned such skills from Quark. Between this point and the next episode, I think I am finally understanding why they let Quark stick around.

Overall: 4 out of 5. A two-parter that earns its longer scope, with a lot going for it. The flawed coup and dippy President held it back, but I enjoyed it on the whole.

S4E13, “Crossfire” (story: René Echevarria)

Pretty in Pink, starring Kira as Molly Ringwald, and Odo as Duckie. At least, the love triangle parts. A triangle where two of the edges are best friends, and one of them is super in love with the other, but can’t confess because it might ruin the friendship and/or be totally scary. Then that edge watches as their love interest edge falls in with someone else, who is a frustratingly great match for them, and it’d just ruin everything to confess at that point. Is that still a love triangle. Is this still Star Trek.

A mild yes on both counts. And an enjoyable, if sorta sad, episode. One has to be charmed by all of Odo’s little expressions of love. I liked his doting routine to ready himself for their morning crime report meeting, how he carefully prepares her space coffee, placing the mug so the handle will face the proper direction for her. At the same time, the poor blob essentially is a teenager, emotionally, and is completely unequipped to deal with grown-up feelings of love…

…but this raises a huge Odo biology question. So I guess Changelings must mate? He has something driving him do more than enjoy a good security blotter together.

Also I must raise another Odo biology question. I don’t really want to be this kind of Trek nerd but I must renew my call for some ground rules about Odo’s mass. If he can become a big metal hammer and screech a turbolift to a stop, or lift anything ever, he must have some mass. Meanwhile he can also pool into Lwaxana Troi’s dress, be a bird, or disguise himself on a cocktail tray to be served by an unknowing waiter, all of which imply he has very little mass. It’s not the unlikely physics that bothers me—I can handle warp speed and teleporters just fine—it’s the inconsistency of the physics. If there’s anything that makes physics physics it’s that it’s consistent.

Well anyway this story is told from Odo’s point of view, but it’s also an important one for Kira, in terms of her finally getting past Bareil and with someone else. That someone else being the annoyingly charming, irritatingly modest, and disturbingly handsome Shakaar. He even gets to like Odo and asks him for love advice. Shakaar, my man, you are asking the wrong fellow.

Rank: Order of regular DS9ers I recommend asking for relationship advice:

1. Dax
2. Jake, apparently
3. Keiko
4. Morn
5. Kira
6. O’Brien
7. Bashir (season 3 or later)
8. Benjamin
9. Rom
10. Worf
11. Nog
12. Quark
13. Bashir (seasons 1-2)
14. Odo

I should also bring up the whole Odo/Quark interplay in this one. A very good sub-thread that worked great with the main story. Quark emerges as rather sympathetic, somehow, noticing Odo’s quiet suffering. He actually…helps? Quark’s bluntness, and also his unflappable concern about Quark, keeps Odo occupied but also moving forward productively. The secret Odo conspiracy to take quarters directly above Quark purely to annoy him was very enjoyable, and sets up a solid payoff at the end when he has sound dampening installed as repayment for Quark’s support. Whenever I rewatch early episodes again knowing how their dynamic really works, it’ll be interesting.

Overall: Like every other compulsively watchable 80s teen movie, it was pretty great. 4 out of 5.

S4E5, “Indiscretion” (story: Toni Marberry & Jack Treviño)

In which two relationships are further explored:

1. Kira and Dukat

Relationship type: Adversarial

Status: Irritated

Situation: They team up for a quest to find a crashed freighter bearing people from their pasts.

Kira: Looking for a man important to her past, Lorit Akrem.

Dukat: Nothing. No one. Stop asking him.

Lorit Akrem: Dead. Sorry, Kira.

A bracelet found in a shallow grave near the wreckage: Dukat gets very emotional about it. OK fine, he was in love with someone on the ship. Yep, a Bajoran. Also, uh, he has a daughter. Doing the math, she’s a Bajoran-Cardassian hybrid. Isn’t life tough for a Bajoran-Cardassian? Oh, yes, very much so. That’s why Dukat is going to kill her. Kira says she’ll kill him if he tries. But in the end, he can’t do it.

Resolution: Every time we see Dukat, he’s less and less the Stalinesque monster suggested by his reputation, and more and more filled with regrets and complexities. We’ll see about him.

2. Sisko and Kasidy

Relationship type: The smooching kind.

Status: Things are going great until…

Situation: Sisko displays somewhat less enthusiasm than one should about your partner potentially moving into your neighborhood.

The Doghouse: A metaphorical term for temporary exile for someone in a relationship who has done messed up.

Currently occupied by: Sisko.

Resolution: Luckily Jake has his head on straight and properly advises his father on how not to wreck up a really good thing.

Overall: A good one for its place in the series, if not a terribly interesting pair of stories by itself. But it’s important for both relationships. I complain about the lack of relationship development a lot in this show (see: the next episode) so it’s good to see it done well here. Dukat reveals even more of his personal life (recall he’s also been sad about missing his son’s birthday) and Sisko is bound to get some cold feet at some point. Without these developments, neither character would feel as complete. So, solid. 3 out of 5.

S4E6, “Rejoined” (story: Ronald D. Moore and René Echevarria)

Are we ever going to get a developed Dax love interest? Not today we aren’t. At least in comparison to the tree climber from “Meridian”, this one has a backstory. Dax’s spouse from a previous host, Kahn, comes to DS9 to work on an artificial wormhole experiment. Unlike most species—humans for example—who are eventually relieved of the potential for awkward social encounters by the sweet release of death, Trills have numerous lifetimes to run into their exes. They do not tell you about that part during the Trill selection process.

Further, the breakup wasn’t caused by an amicable divorce, but rather by Torias Dax’s death in a shuttlecraft accident. We learn he was being characteristically (for Torias) risky in testing the shuttle’s engine, and got himself killed. People in relationships inherit some responsibility not to take unnecessary deadly risks because their deaths would adversely affect others, but at least, if we are going to dig around for a bright side here, if you die as a human at least you can’t get in additional trouble. But Trills can! The symbionts can be recovered, introduced into a new host, and live another lifetime or two before bumping into the previous spouse and getting a deserved earful for dying.

Perhaps in part to alleviate these ridiculous contingencies, Trill society has developed a taboo against re-establishing love relationships from previous lives, what they call “reassociation.” Doing so will get you exiled, which for Trills means mortality. So not only shouldn’t Dax and Kahn (Jadzia and Lenora, in this instantiation) see each other for socially awkward reasons, they’d also face pretty serious consequences if anything happened. Naturally, it does. After a couple afternoons diagnosing artificial wormhole data, and a super boring dinner, they find themselves unsurprisingly drawn to each other. There is some smooching and a whole lot of discussing the main question posed by the episode, which is whether letting reassociation happen would be worth it.

I though “Rejoined” served up some outstanding social sci-fi within a very strong social sc-fi series. Again Dax gets totally lost in a relationship in the span of just a couple days, which is a bit silly, but is somewhat easier to accept this time, and can be ignored for the larger themes it opens up. The show has been consistent about this idea that Trill gender is fluid and an essentially random host characteristic unimportant to the symbiont, and this delves deeper into some outcomes from that. Kahn continues to be hosted by a woman, but now Dax is as well, though that aspect goes totally unmentioned, which I thought was a really great story choice. They ultimately don’t stay together mostly because of the social taboo, and maybe also that lovestruck Dax isn’t seeing what the big deal is about erasing your life for someone after like three dates.

“Rejoined” also reminded me of the TNG episode “The Outcast“. That’s the one where they deal with a mostly androgynous race, and one person becomes well, an outcast, because they lean too strongly female. Riker falls in love with her (again in like two working days, but I guess I need to get over the time frames of these things). But I felt like that show didn’t work great because we were supposed to find it curious Riker would love an androgyne. But she was played by a woman and identified strongly female, so it was ironically too believable, and not dramatic. I theorized the episode would’ve been stronger with a truly androgynous love interest  “Rejoined” rectifies that problem, by very effectively portraying what is essentially a gender-free relationship.

Overall: Like any relationship, it’s complicated. 5 out of 5.

S4E7, “Starship Down” (story: David Mack and John J. Ordover)

“I know she wasn’t built for it, but I think the ship can handle it.”

—Benjamin Sisko, making a bloody huge mistake and endangering his entire crew.

The more I’ve thought about this episode the more I dislike it. It’s written by a couple of non-regulars and I’m afraid it shows, repeatedly. But that’s what producers are for? It must have been everyone’s week off. Because right from the teaser, nothing works:

1. The DS9ers hold a vital trade meeting, but they do it in the Gamma Quadrant aboard the Defiant, with no additional security measures. There is no reason at all not to have super important, dangerous meetings anywhere other than DS9. Everyone stop trying to invade, or even just hang out, in the Gamma Quadrant please. Bring a buddy. Bring a fleet of buddies. I mean, seriously, stop being idiots, damn.
2. Dax offers Kira a big plate of food, then learns that it’s a Bajoran holiday, so Kira is fasting. I said to Kristen: “Way to be culturally insensitive, Dax.” Kristen (smarter than me) said: “That’s a writing mistake. Dax wouldn’t be ignorant of that.” Hey, yeah! They work for Bajorans on DS9, they’re going to be aware of the holidays. Especially Dax, who absolutely has experience both doling out, and being a victim of, cultural insensitivities. Over several lifetimes.

If it was just these things, eh, what are you going to do. But it is not. This whole episode was just…off. They just somehow forget how the DS9 universe works and who any of the characters are. All in the name of, I guess, ripping off decades-old submarine movie tropes. Ugh.

I guess I’ll keep going anyway. As the meetings progress, some Jem’Hadar show up and attack, because that’s what Jem’Hadar do. (I refer the reader to point #1 above.) Because you further want to have politically dangerous meetings in the most dangerous place possible, they are orbiting a violent gas giant, and the battle leads everyone into its unfathomably dangerous atmosphere. That’s when Sisko drops the money quote above. Kira, Dax, and O’Brien all do double-takes when he says this. So like, it’s even written into the show that this is dumb as hell. He’s straight up inventing technical specifications. Maybe he felt forced by the situation and is putting on his bravest, boldest Kirk face.

Well, that’s the best I got, so let’s roll with it. Maybe he knows what he’s doing… Nope, actually everything turns out terribly. The Jem’Hadar immediately strike and destroy the bridge. Sisko gets concussed and nearly dies. A bunch of bridge extras do die. Dax gets a facefull of fluorine and is coughing. I bet you are, says Julian. Haha, it’s highly corrosive! Then another Jem’Hadar torpedo hits the Defiant dead on. Welp, that’ll finish them—er, no, wait, it seems that the torpedo somehow didn’t explode and instead lodges right into the ship’s hull, neither exploding nor causing a very inconvenient hull breach, in the most extraordinary turn of luck since Spock accidentally invented time travel. Not only is a bloody torpedo lodged in the hull, it happened to hit Quark’s conference room. So Quark and Hanok work to defuse it, something they are able to approach with any degree of competence because Hanok saw some specs on a torpedo once. (I actually did like the gag that Hanok sold them the torpedoes, so he owes them a refund. Also actually sort of liked Quark’s 50/50 shot at disarming the torpedo and how it loosens up Hanok to Quark’s way of doing business.)

Meanwhile Worf is riding the engineering team too hard and O’Brien has to lecture him. So for the fourth or fifth time, the show has forgotten how one of its characters acts. Worf has worked with humans for years. And he just forgot how to talk to them? MOVING ON. So the engineering team does some space stuff and manages to outwit the Jem’Hadar and get out of it. Shrug. This episode was silly and stupid and of course none of the suspense elements worked because no regulars were going to die. Just a bunch of the extras, so no worries.

Morn watch: We learn he has 17 siblings. Also they try a gag that implies Morn is so boring to talk to Julian has to rely on a ruse to get away from him. WHICH ALSO DOESN’T JIVE WITH THE ESTABLISHED MORN NARRATIVE THAT HE IS VERY POPULAR. Seriously, this episode.

Random thing: Everyone kept fretting over the atmosphere, naturally, since the Defiant had no business being within one. But leaving that behind, I kept thinking about this delightfully droll old Discovery Channel commercial.

Overall: 1 out of 5. See me after class, DS9.

S4E8, “Little Green Men” (story: Toni Marberry & Jack Treviño)

(Speaking of inventing time travel.)

So hear me out on this one:

1. Per the above, it is my stated opinion that “Starship Down” is one of the weakest episodes of the series thus far.
2. This could be construed as opinion as well, but I think it would be shared very widely: “Little Green Men” might be the most ridiculously silly and improbable episode of the series thus far.
3. “Starship Down” stinks.
4. “Little Green Men” was great.

I know, right. If A=B and B=C, A should equal C. But this time, it doesn’t. Why not?

Well, mainly, it was delightful. It’s filled with excellent gags, but also makes for some perfect ’50s sci-fi B-movie satire. This kind of send-up actually feels like it’s become its own genre. It’s not terribly different than the Futurama episode “Roswell That Ends Well” even with similar laffs (e.g., useless injections of sodium pentathol on Quark vs. Zoidberg participating in his own exploratory surgery).

It was also ridiculous. I would go so far as to call it “zany” even. But that’s just the universe it inhabits. A universe where antics and nonsense are the principle drivers. Quark offers to shuttle Nog to Earth, and since he quite uncharacteristically has indicating that he would like to provide someone help, comes under immediate suspicion by Odo. Who is naturally correct: Quark is smuggling some kemocite to Earth. But when their ship is found to be sabotaged, thoroughly out of nowhere Rom conjures up some obscure physics and knows that applying kemocite to the engines will stop the runaway reaction. But it turns out to also be another way to accidentally travel through time. I mean sure, that kind of thing happens here. (Of all the whaaaa? the thing that somehow managed to bother me the most was that they could—on command, from the bridge—just flood the cargo hold with plasma to get it to react with the kemocite. They built this functionality into the ship? So like: What else can you flood with plasma? What else can you flood the cargo hold with? Radiation? Marbles? Meatballs?)

Their landing on Earth is basically a platform for additional antics, with some satire tossed in. Also Odo is there, in German Shepherd form. He’s stowed away on the Orion to catch Quark in the act of smuggling and is forced to shapeshift to remain undetected. I guess all the humans were like, “Oh hey we have a cool dog now!” and they conveniently leave it around whenever.

The show does attempt to demonstrate some limitations of the universal translator, but on the whole the technology remains tantalizingly mysterious. Somehow it works both for the speaker and listener, no matter who’s wearing the thing, which like, come on, no it can’t. Probably it must stay deliberately opaque, and also we should probably not ask more questions about it. Although one takeaway is that it’s now understood the alien races aboard DS9, including the Ferengi, are never speaking English. We just hear it that way.

Eventually they manage their escape, which is just as preposterous. They do some more of the plasma-kemocite thing and arrive precisely back to the present day, naturally. Listen, just roll with it this time around. It’s fun, it’s funny, and I enjoyed it tremendously.

Favorite bit: While studying Earth history, Nog comes across a picture of Gabriel Bell—historically replaced with Sisko—but before he can question it too much all hell breaks loose on the Orion and he forgets all about it.

Odo’s biology corner: His forehead ridges have been thankfully minimized. Kristen observed that while he can become a flawless German Shepherd, he’s still struggling with his humanoid face. Good thing German Shepherds don’t have forehead ridges.

Morn watch: Quark places Morn in charge of the bar while he’s away. Odo speculates that Morn might drink all the profits. I’m maybe starting to feel bad about Morn’s high-functioning alcoholism as a source of comedy.

Overall: Stupidly fantastic. 5 out of 5.

S4E1/2, “The Way of the Warrior” (story: Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe)

Many things have changed for season 4:

• Worf! He shows up, ostensibly for a consulting gig, but like, his name is in the credits so we all know he’s not going anywhere.
  • I have always liked Worf’s character and have been eagerly awaiting his arrival on DS9. It’s probably good that he hasn’t been there from the beginning since I’d have just glommed onto him and perhaps not appreciated all the new people as much.
  • However, as DS9 has progressed I’ve been wondering exactly what his role would be. I’ve talked about how the show has been portraying postmodern Klingonism. Other than one visit to their homeworld (and glances at the disgusting yet thriving boutique restaurant on the station) we haven’t really seen much of the Klingons in the series except as depressed and drunk, or old and depressed and drunk. Worf is definitely aware of it. He feels like he’s gone as far as he can go in his Starfleet career and he ought to get back home while it’s worth getting back to.
• Speaking of credits, they’ve been jazzed up, albeit in a typically understated DS9 way. The music is a smidge more uptempo, some ships are jetting around to make it seem like DS9 isn’t an abandoned husk floating dead in space, Rene Auberjonois’ name has finally been properly centered, and “Siddig El Fadil” is now “Alexander Siddig.”
• Sisko has retained his classy goatee but shaved the dome. Looking good, sir.
• Odo expresses a new face-replication skill in the form of some new forehead ridges. They are uncanny and distracting and appear deep enough to collect lint.

“The Way of the Warrior” is a double episode about the next inevitable, but sorry, step in postmodern Klingonism, which is a desperate attempt to do some conquering. It was not a good idea, and I didn’t really like the premise, frankly. It was never going to work, and it doesn’t. It was also just going to make them hated, and it does. I don’t think it makes a lot of sense. Though I guess when the only tool you have is a bat’leth, every problem seems like a bat’leth tournament.

I does provide us the rich Gowron line and facial expression, which killed me: “You have sided against us in battle! And this…we do not forgive. Or forget!”

We laughed at this when watching, and later I wondered if it was really that silly. I was very pleased to discover it was. Though I had mis-remembered it slightly, thinking he did a big inhale between “…we do not forgive” and “Or forget” just because of the abrupt facial expression change. He doesn’t, but I can’t help imagining it with a wet SNOOORRK in there. ALSO I like how when watching this cold—as opposed to within the flow of the show—one can really appreciate how jarring and trollish his voice is. AND ALSO I like his angry face-twitch sign-off.

Odo’s biology corner: Odo has been practicing forming a simulated coffee mug as an extension of his hand so that he can appear to hold and drink from it to put the solids at ease.

Morn watch: Several appearances!

1. Morn gets harassed by Klingon security: “What do you do on this station?” He hesitates to answer but Odo steps in to find out what’s going on. Dammit, Odo. Go “drink” your “coffee.” We were almost through the looking glass. (Although given that Morn is overwhelmingly likely to perform some unglamorous drudgery aboard the station, maybe it’s better if we never know.)
2. Garak outfits him with some new clothes.
3. After the Klingons give up the assault on DS9 and Quark’s re-opens, a delighted Morn is the first one back in.

Overall: There are a lot of nice moments for all the regulars in here, and Worf is a welcome addition. But I’d have like a story that made more sense. The internet apparently loves this episode, but I’m not sure. I don’t think the Klingons had any good reason to lose their minds. 3 out of 5.

S4E3, “The Visitor” (story: Michael Taylor)

SO YOU ARE WATCHING A STAR TREK EPISODE ABOUT SOMEONE LIVING OUT A FULL ALTERNATE LIFE

It was very touching, wasn’t it? Made you think about your life choices. Maybe reminded you of one of those deeply emotional dreams that leaves you disoriented and confused, not quite sure what’s real. It can be fanciful to think about where you will be in five, ten, fifty years. Will you be a different person? What if you live somewhere different? It will certainly affect who you are.

In particular, I think the symbol of the flute plays and important anchoring role—

What’s that? No flute in the episode you watched? Wait, you didn’t just watch “The Inner Light”?

Oh. You watched the other one. You watched “The Visitor.” Sorry about that. I mean, yeah, sorry I ran with that assumption, but more sorry you were watching “The Visitor” when you could’ve been watching “The Inner Light.” Or really just about any other Trek episode.

I’m being a bit harsh, it wasn’t really bad. Actually the story was pretty engaging really. It does a lot for Jake & Sisko. In fact, it pulls off a couple of tricks with them. One, neither of their principal portrayers are in most of the scenes, and two, the stuff that happens never actually does happen in our timeline. Plus it’s always fun to peer into a possible future. We get to see distinguished Captain Nog, and old Jax and Bashir. I always like at the end of movies when they give you a debriefing. This felt a lot like that. “Nog enjoyed a successful Starfleet career. Quark and Rom went on to own a moon. Odo defied the Changelings and disappeared. He was last seen roaming Siberia. Kira assassinated a Cardassian diplomat. The results of that trial, after this.”

But in the end I thought it reached for lofty territory with a very shaky ladder. I’d describe the acting by the guest roles as “punishingly wooden.” The framing story of old Jake telling his life story to a random stalker felt awkward and contrived. So, I don’t know. I liked it when I was watching but not so much in retrospect. Being so strongly like “The Inner Light” also makes it hard to judge on its own merits.

Morn watch: In the alternate future, Morn has taken over the bar when Quark and Rom buy their moon. Naturally he renames it “Morn’s.”

Overall: 3 out of 5 but maybe ought to be 4.

S4E4, “Hippocratic Oath” (story: Nicholas Corea & Lisa Klink)

Some years ago Kristen and I tried playing Cities and Knights of Catan, an expanded spin-off to the much-played and much-loved Settlers of Catan. It…did not go well.

Our experience didn’t really prepare us. We spent one entire gaming session just parsing the rules. By the time we were done with that we’d been at it so long we were too tired to actually play, and quit. This was to be the more positive of our two experiences with the game. The next time out, we managed to get beyond rule-reading and play, although “play” is not the word I would suggest to describe our series of brutal defeats, and eventual total loss, at the hands of the game’s nemeses, the pirates. As the game progresses and players try to eke out a life on Catan, the pirates move ever closer, eventually flooding your humble village for some pillaging. I don’t remember the exact mechanics of fighting them, but I am sure that it never once went well. They take a bunch of stuff then return to the sea, and the players try to put their lives back together as the clock starts ticking down to their next offensive. It is theoretically possible, with odds-defying luck, that the pirates would never come back. Futilely, we hoped, “Maybe the pirates won’t come this time.” But they did. They always came.

Similarly, if you are going to go messing about in the Gamma Quadrant, you can hope maybe the Jem’Hadar won’t come this time. But they will. They always will. And as we turn the corner of DS9 into the middle of its seven-season run, things ain’t looking too good. They are stronger, faster, meaner, and as inevitable as pirates taking all your stuff in Catan.

“Hippocratic Oath” provides a tantalizing wedge into making some traction against them. It’s also a great episode in and of itself. Fascinating conflict between the Jem’Hadar and humans, and interwoven with the conflict between Bashir and O’Brien regarding what to even do about it. It also manages to be entirely frustrating all around. The free-thinking Jem’Hadar is still trapped in his own society, promising research on removing their innate addiction is destroyed, O’Brien’s actions are frustrating but you can’t really blame him either. Most tantalizing, and I wonder if this’ll surface again, is that there may be genetic anomalies where some of the JH simply aren’t addicts and can demonstrate free will. Once in a while, one figures it out. Maybe it’ll end up being akin to the Trill secret that the pairings aren’t so special after all.

I lean on Memory Alpha a lot to remember all the details of these episodes for me, especially if I need to remember stuff like who a minor character was or what episode they appeared in. I also sometimes use it as a checksum on my reaction towards an episode by comparing my takeaway with MA’s “reception” section of each episode. Sometimes I think: “That episode was pretty good I think?” And if the reception also seems good, then, by gosh, I was right. Sometimes I think an episode is great and they have little or nothing to say about it. In that case they are wrong, or ignorant. Sometimes it’s the opposite: they love it, and I didn’t. Which might cause me to re-evaluate, but more often than not, I also dismiss them as wrong. (Yes it’s confirmation bias. Who is going to stop me.)

As it happens, I disagreed with MA/the wider world on all three/four episodes in this batch. They loved “The Way of the Warrior” and “The Visitor.” I thought they had some serious flaws. I thought we were going to sync up on “Hippocratic Oath” but I was surprised to find it had a thoroughly blah reception. MA has two facts about it. One, director Rene Auberjonois thought it was the best episode he directed (out of eight). The other is a worthless factoid about some of the props being sold at auction. (How is that even “reception”?) My conclusion is, MA, you are a helpful tool, but you don’t know what you are talking about.

Overall: 5 out of 5.

S3E23, “Family Business” (story: Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe)

A fun episode with lots of gross Ferengi stuff, including, but not limited to:

• Tooth sharpening
• Naked old Ferengis
  • Specifically, naked old mom Ferengis (though in her defense, Ishka prefers wearing clothing)
• The mom nickname “moogie” which is somehow cute and gross at the same time
• Unfathomably vile Ferengi food
• The persistent soul-crushing torment of capitalism run amok

Aside from the opportunity to spend some time on the Ferengi homeworld and see their society in action, we meet Ishka, Quark and Rom’s mother, who has gotten the family in some trouble with the Ferengi authorities on suspicion of female profit-making. Ultimately the charges are sorted out in the same way that one imagines all crime is managed among the Ferengi, which is based on the principle that the richer you are, the more you can get away with. Potential legal trouble is bribed or negotiated away, if, as one surmises, the criminals have the means to do so. Along the way, all manner of financial needling takes place. Quark has to pay the Ferengi liquidator (kinda like IRS agents) just to learn what he’s being charged with, and that’s just the start. He has to pay to use elevators and “tip” (also a bribe) any minor official he speaks with.

Ha-ha! What a society! Can you imagine! Oh, actually we can, because that is like 98% where late-stage capitalist America is already. The rich have teams of great lawyers and powerful connections. The rest of us don’t. We also pretty much accept that we’ll have to pay premiums to park closer, get there faster, get the good versions of otherwise crappy stuff, have fast internet, have reliable internet, have any internet, watch any TV show other than “Kevin Can Wait,” ever see Hamilton, sit in seats with any kind of good view, sit in seats *at all*, get through airport security before the plane actually leaves, take luggage, be even slightly comfortable on the plane, get off the plane sooner, play full versions of video games that we already paid for, have household goods last more than a couple of years without degrading into toxic plastic garbage, own rather than rent, drink an adult beverage that doesn’t come in a plastic bottle or a box, get the medicine that actually works, the car that actually runs, the clothes that will survive wearing and/or washing, get proper medical care, see a doctor that will care about you, a lawyer that will care about you, an insurance company that won’t sue you for making claims, eat healthy, avoid having your entire field of vision compromised by advertising at all times, prevent political or corporate interests from selling your personal information, prevent other political or corporate interests from exploiting your personal information, provide your kids a with useful college education, provide your kids with a useful grade school education, provide your kids with a nonlethal day care, or have any semblance of privacy or dignity for your entire adult life.

So what I’m saying is, life on the Ferengi homeworld is only barely useful for satire, but is at least entertainingly played for comedy, because what else can we do about any of this.

Anyway, Ishka is a really fun, sharp character with such finely honed profiteering skills that she eventually wears down Quark’s conservative resistance. It’s the second time Quark has accepted a female into the business world, and both times, because she was so dang good at it. Maybe at some point we can count on Quark making a political difference among the Ferengi, now that he’s armed with some good examples, and has some connection to the Nagus. But I’m not holding my breath. Rom also continues to show his more progressive side, supporting both Nog’s efforts to join Starfleet, and his Mom’s work. I may stop labeling Rom “hapless.” He’s not the brightest, but he’s a good dude.

The episode also has a minor B story about Jake successfully matchmaking Sisko with Kasidy Yates, a freighter captain that occasionally stops over on DS9. We see just the beginning of this, but they seem to hit it off. She is smart and interesting, and inexplicably likes baseball, among other things Sisko likes, and is also, as they say, easy on the eyes. I’m sure we’ll see more of this as the show progresses, but I like how they are tackling it. Sisko is naturally going to be hesitant to get involved with anyone (especially when the matchmaker is his teenage son), and the usual TV thing would be to contrive some situation to get them together immediately, but they’re happy to let them have a brief coffee before she has to run. Also I really like Sisko: he is a good guy that likes cooking and baseball. He is my kind of fellow.

Overall: Let’s go 4 out of 5.

S3E24, “Shakaar” (story: Gordon Dawson)

We already know Winn is in over her head as Kai, but it doesn’t stop her from netting an interim First Minister gig when the previous one dies. The hits keep on coming: Winn contacts Kira to get help with a brewing problem on Bajor. A group of farmers is refusing to return some important equipment to the government, and Winn wants it back so Bajor can produce some crops for export and sweet, sweet cash. Kira gets the bag because their leader is her former resistance leader, Shakaar.

We don’t really need another episode about Winn being an inept leader with garbage interpersonal skills. But it is a good Kira episode. She travels to meets with Shakaar, where she learns that the government is reneging on a promise that they could keep the equipment much longer. Somehow Winn didn’t mention that, as she’s very willing to let a few individual starve for the greater good. There’s an interesting nugget in here about how a recovering economy would bump into tough choices like this. Especially if its leadership is stubborn and undiplomatic, and prefers quick, easy political victories over long-term thinking. But Kira is much better at nuance, and she manages to defuse tensions so things can work themselves out. In the end, Shakaar takes it upon himself to run for First Minister in opposition to Winn’s recklessness. Please let this happen.

It’s as much a damning episode for Winn as it is a strong episode for Kira. She continues to be willing to make the tough decisions, but pivot to better choices when they make more sense to her, no matter who that might put her up against. Ultimately her loyalties are to what’s right. (No wonder the similarly-motivated Odo has developed a crush on her.) Also an important one for Bajorans. They live on an ostensibly crappy planet (though in part, made that way by Cardassian exploitation) and continue to find ways to work together to make it better.

There’s also a totally unrelated silly B story about O’Brien going on an epic darts winning streak at Quark’s pub, until he wrecks up his shoulder reaching for his beer. Bashir patches him up, but when he’s recovered he’s lost his mojo is back to normal at darts. I’m not sure what the point of any of this was. Practice safe beer-reaching form? Darts are a cruel game? We are all mortal? It was fun but I felt like they could’ve used the eight minutes or whatever they spent on this to fill out some more Bajoran stuff.

Overall: Another very solid 4 out of 5.

S3E25, “Facets” (story: Rene Echevarria)

Like the recent “Distant Voices,” a chance for the regulars to play outside their usual characters. Dax announces that it’s time for a ceremony in which she’ll meet all her former hosts. She has to recruit some pals willing to be imparted with her hosts’ personalities temporarily so she can converse with them. Everyone agrees, knowing full well that the premise of this episode is that one of them is going to run amok.

Mostly everything proceeds normally. The sequence of Dax meeting most of her previous hosts was pretty fun, if necessarily quick and sometimes silly. All the regulars just pretend to be someone totally different for a few minutes. The anticipated difficulty will be with Joran (the evil personality we learned about back in S3E04, “Equilibrium”), but Sisko agrees to handle him, and does so from a holding cell. This scene was super uncomfortable but gets played really well. Avery Brooks can do super creepy. The audience is *certain* something is going to go wrong, and it does. Joran immediately starts beating up his Sisko body, forcing Dax to open the cell. It has all the cringing subtlety of a Friday the 13th scene where everyone makes the dumbest decision possible, but is resolved quickly and turns out to be all for misdirection. The real problem arises when Curzon, inhabiting Odo, claims they’ve bonded and refuses to leave. The new Curzon/Odo is a boisterous loudmouth, represented by Odo’s usually reserved slicked-back hair pumped into Stalinesque glory. He drinks constantly and bellows and seems like the kind of guy that would give you a crushing handshake while blowing cigar smoke in your face. But you would still sort of like him? I was remembering the Futurama episode where Bender turns into a human and has no practice with moderation so he’s dancing all night while scarfing hot dogs and downing pitchers of beer and kissing everyone, all at the same time.

Jadzia eventually works out some lingering feelings between her and Curzon and things get resolved, which is sort of the point of this bizarre Trill ritual, one supposes. A Trill is an amalgam of any number of personalities and they all have to get along. Trills: still pretty weird, but I think I’m understanding them better.

Meanwhile Nog is practicing for his Starfleet entrance exams by working on his piloting skills in the holosuite. Quark still doesn’t really approve of his nephew trying to get into Starfleet, and suggests that he could make more money writing holosuite programs, especially of an “intimate variety,” which is pretty weird career guidance from one’s uncle. It did get me wondering whether Ferengi have a lot more profitable businesses of the morally questionable variety. Like, casinos aren’t ubiquitous among humans because many people don’t approve of gambling. Adult shops are usually found out of the way rather than in shiny family-friendly malls. But I could see them being everywhere on the Ferengi homeworld. They are profitable, and that trumps all. Although they are also a pretty conservative culture, so, who knows about the adult entertainment market, but their homeworld has to be like one giant Las Vegas strip.

Anyway Quark goes so far as to sabotage Nog’s test, with “you’ll always have a place at the bar” as extremely shitty consolation, but Rom stands up to him. Quark says he’s acting in the best interest of Nog, but Rom threatens to burn the bar to the ground if he continues to interfere with his son, and has talked Sisko into allowing a re-try. Rom, you are officially no longer hapless.

Overall: Maybe the most effective Trill episode so far. I definitely enjoyed Rene Auberjonois’ performance as blustery Curzon/Odo. The Joran misdirection also subverts expectations in an interesting way. 5 out of 5.

S3E26, “The Adversary” (story: Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe)

“The Adversary” is a solid thriller of an episode. It is also enviro-friendly because it is made of over 80% post-consumer material. I feel like I’ve seen much of this already, and that’s because a lot of the key setups and premises are straight from other stuff.

Tense scenes taking blood samples to identify the imposter? Check. It’s from The Thing in very specific terms, and the general situation where people are standing around knowing the guilty party is hiding among them in plain sight is in every-ish mystery story ever. They even go to this particular well twice in the same episode.

Trapped on a speeding death machine with little hope of escape? Check. Speed. Nothing’s immediately coming to me but feels like a SF premise I’ve seen.

Enemy running around the ship picking people off? Check. Alien, various horror stories, etc.

That’s not to say they didn’t still pull it off. It’s a good example of all three of these types of stories, wrapped into one. So I did dig the episode for the most part, although for a thriller it dragged a bit at times, too. I’m not selling this, am I? Well, I dunno. It was fine. Some takeaways for the end of the third season:

• Sisko receives his promotion to Captain. I should certainly hope so. Among other things, he successfully ensured history would work out. He’s had a busy season.
• Quark shows some class by serving genuine alcohol at Sisko’s Captain party. I’m interested in this idea that replicator food sometimes isn’t considered as good as the real stuff. Some people make a habit of cooking, like Sisko or Keiko. I think we haven’t fully explored the future of food snobbery. It replicator food akin to today’s processed junk, i.e., high in sodium, low in flavor (other than salt)? Or is it more subtly off, like the way everything with “natural flavors” just kinda isn’t right, or you discover some treat has sucralose buried deep on the ingredients list.
• They’ve made a lot of this idea that no changeling has ever harmed another. Odo’s hand organically-shaped representation of a hand was clearly forced, as he was the only one who could kill the renegade changeling about to start a war. But he did break the rule. This is 100% going to get thrown back at him.
• While we’re talking changelings, it’s made clear they are just getting started causing trouble. Evil Duplicate Krajensky says, “We’re everywhere.” This, this is not good.

Overall: I didn’t love this one, kinda felt like it was largely a miss, like they were trying to make something happen but just leaned on other ideas that have been around a while. It was engaging though. Sounds like 3 out of 5.

Season wrap:

Honestly, this might be the best season of any Trek show ever. Up there with TNG seasons 4 & 5, at least. They have really found something on this show that works perfectly. Great characters, solid storytelling. Lots happening in the overall context of the show, but every individual episode is well-crafted, too. Sisko has had the biggest transformation, growing from boring bureaucrat into Captain Charisma. Really looking forward to season 4. (And Worf!)

S3E18, “Distant Voices” (story: Joe Menosky)

This is the one where Bashir gets old. Well, just in his mind. He gets zapped by some jerk alien and has to navigate a weird dream state where he is aging rapidly and encountering all the characters as representations of different parts of his mind, which is an excuse for them to break out of character and do weird stuff. The aging aspect, however, is brought on by his expressed anxiety about turning 30.

I really like how they’ve developed Bashir so far in the series, to the point where he can carry a full show easily now, without having to make it actually  about how someone else can’t stand him. He started out as know-it-all borderline-creepy kinda sexual harasser but has evolved into Good Guy Julian. One wonders if this was always the plan for him, or they were smart enough to realize it wasn’t working early on, and consciously steered him to a better place. At least he stayed on the show. I feel bad for characters (well, their portrayers, really) who are there to start but it just doesn’t work. My wife and I are watching Parks and Recreation right now, and the days of Mark Brandanowitz are long, long gone. I have done zero research on why the character went away (like if the actor left on his own or not), but it just seems like it found its groove when Ben & Chris showed up and they’d run out of steam with Mark anyway. At least they gave him the dignity of a written departure. I’m also slowly re-watching Newsradio and two regulars weren’t in the pilot. Instead they had an off-brand Joe and Katherine. The series regulars showed up in episode two, and in an act of standard sitcom suspension of disbelief, we accept that no one noticed they were completely different humans. So back to DS9, long-term character growth is a difficult thing—it’s hard enough for a staff of writers to consistently present a character who isn’t changing—but they’ve pulled it off. Plus it’s more than just evolving Julian, you have to have all the other characters come around to like him too, which has been painstakingly done over almost three seasons now.

I’ve also gotten to really like Siddig El Fadil as an actor, he’s got some natural comic timing–maybe not quite on par with Rene Auberjonois but at least up there with Armin Shimerman. He also has some impressive range, as is required for any Trek cast member getting routinely possessed by alien lifeforms, magic love spells, or, in this case, subject to rapid aging. This episode’s premise had some potential to get silly. It does, a little, on purpose, but that’s different. I mean like, the whole thing being silly, when Julian’s life was actually in some legit danger. But he carries the episode and sells it. I approved.

Some stuff:

• We learn that in Cardassian mystery stories, everyone is always guilty. The pleasure is figuring out who’s guilty of what, per Garak. This implies that on Cardassia, the movie Clue has been edited to only have ending C. Having extra murderers while still administering proper justice has established it as a cult classic there, too.
• Bashir is only 30? Most doctors are barely done with medical school at 30, and that’s only if they go straight through. Not only has he already become an experienced doctor, but he’s getting major award nominations. This is either sort of a timing oversight for the character or I take back all the nice things I said about him.
• I knew Siddig El Fadil was professionally known these days as Alexander Siddig. I did not know that he was going to start being credited that way next season. Also, he colloquially goes by “Sid.”

Overall: I’m not sure this is a good episode, but I liked it. It helps that I like Sid. But the story kept moving and was well-constructed. This is exactly the same kind of story that might be in TOS and be boring as hell. 4 out of 5.

S3E19, “Through the Looking Glass” (story: Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe)

The door to returning to the mirror universe was left open back in “Crossover” both in a literal sense, i.e., they know how to modify the teleporters to travel between them, and from a storytelling standpoint, i.e., when we decide it might be interesting to pop back over. Well, it’s time. Parallel O’Brien shows up, cleverly disguised as regular O’Brien, and forces Sisko to return to the mirror universe with him to help with a mission. (We never see what happened with regular O’Brien. Perhaps he got stunned by his parallel counterpart, or maybe he showed up on the bridge a minute later all, “Hey what’d I miss?”) Parallel O’Brien appeals to Sisko for help because the rebellion is doomed unless they can stop the Klingon/Cardassian alliance from completing work on a special sensor that will ferret them all out, like, immediately. Plus parallel Sisko was just killed, so it’d be easy to swap in our Sisko. And the kicker: the scientist developing the sensor is parallel Jennifer Sisko. In our universe, as is well-established, Jennifer has been dead for five years. In mirror universe she’s still alive, and actually also married to parallel Sisko, but only technically, because they hate each other and haven’t seen each other for years. So it’s some dirty pool from parallel O’Brien, but he also promises to return Sisko home if he can help them with this.

I love a good “only in sci fi” kinda setup, and this one’s like three layers deep. The trick is having it be as crazy as possible, while still being internally consistent. This one works great. Sisko can help some good guys while also having a chance to see his wife (in some form) again. And it makes for a fun episode, mostly for the hammy performances by the regulars. Sisko falls right into the swashbuckling space pirate role. Like, right into it. He’s instantly bellowing with swagger. I had to pause it and make a comment to Kristen about how easily he turned it on. She theorized that perhaps Sisko has this inside him all the time, he just represses it. More and more this season, that seems true. Similarly, Kira is in full-on vixen mode, toying with friends and enemies alike, and Bashir fills the weasel role, trying to usurp power in (he thinks) Sisko’s absence, only to get put in his place by a solid punch to the face.

The Ben/Jennifer scenes work pretty well, too. Really, really weird for Sisko. I’m not sure how Avery Brooks prepares for that really. “OK so it’s my wife, who perished years ago in a fire, and I get to see her again. I’m so happy! But she’s not actually my wife, kind of just a replica. So I’m sad! Though she married replica me, so there must be something there. I’m happy again! But she hates me. I’m sad!” Is it realistic that he’s able to convince her to join the rebellion? I’d say, probably—it’s established that her heart isn’t in the job and parallel Kira is some kind of terrible boss. But Sisko’s charm sells it, even if she knows something’s off with him.

Morn watch: Quark and Morn are busted for running an illegal vole-fighting ring. Although Odo and Sisko apparently lack concrete proof that was happening—Quark claims they are Morn’s pets. So all they can do is order them to dispose of the voles. Quark appeals to their sympathetic sides, claiming Morn loves the voles. “Poor Morn. This is gonna break his hearts.” Unpacking this gem:

• Hearts! Morn has >1 heart. That’s why he’s so full of love?
• Unclear why Morn actually doesn’t even appear. Maybe they were over budget for this episode and didn’t want to get Morn all suited up. Or maybe the line works better without Morn in the room. Either it’s funnier that way or Morn isn’t such a convincing liar. Wait, Quark’s lies are terrible, as usual. I dunno.

Overall: I think they’re handling the mirror universe well so far. Curious if it’ll come up again, particularly if our Sisko or parallel Jennifer would ever want to cross over for the other. But anyway, a really good one. 5 out of 5.

S3E20/21, “Improbable Cause/The Die is Cast” (story: Robert Lederman & David R. Long/Ronald D. Moore)

I always wonder about actors who play secondary characters that develop into such interesting roles that they may as well be regulars. Do they start getting perturbed they don’t get promoted to the main credits? I’m not sure that Garak doesn’t have more appearances that Jake at this point. I think he’s definitely more interesting than Jake—and maybe Dax for that matter—not that they are uninteresting, either. Just that Garak has been more developed, I guess because whatever the heck is going on with him almost always means something w/r/t the overall DS9 situation. Whereas Jake stories revolve around petty schemes with Nog or awkward teenage relationships, and Dax is usually just dealing with some weird Trill thing.

This pair of episodes serves as a crucial pivot point for Garak, with some actual resolution about his life satisfaction aboard DS9. We also learn much more about his relationship with the Cardassians and with Enebran Tain. And importantly, he finally gets called out for his habitual lying, insinuation, and obfuscation: Odo accuses him of being the boy who cries wolf, and unlike the overly polite Bashir, has had enough of it. Speaking of Odo, it’s a crucial pair of shows for him, too. He unravels the mystery of “Improbable Cause” and links Garak back to his DS9 life throughout “The Die is Cast.” We further learn that his feelings towards the Founders are not clear at all, at a fundamental level he wishes things were such that could join them. But both guys have the same problems. For one thing, they are genuinely attached to their lives on DS9, and they are not dudes with a long history of attachments. So they not only care about the people there, but both think the Federation is dipping into the Gamma Quadrant the right way, slowly and peacefully. Not the “let’s get a posse together” aggressive frontier power-grab tactics favored by the Cardassians and Romulans.

Speaking of which, the plan to send a band of ships into the Gamma Quadrant for a Pearl Harbor-style first strike is very, extremely, uncharacteristically stupid on the part of both races. Consider the lesson of “The Defiant.” Is it a good idea to take a blind run at one of the most critical worlds in the Cardassian Empire? No, it is not a good idea. Because they have taken some measure to protect it, in the form of a substantively large, exceedingly armed fleet. Further, it is well-established these are not only very militaristic societies, but they are super good planners. So should they take a similarly blind run at a world of changelings? Haha, goodness no, they should not. But they do, which engenders a lot of dying on their part, including Enebran Tain. Was it hubris? Desperation to establish themselves in the Gamma Quadrant before the better-positioned Federation had a chance?

Well, I actually kinda think it just simply didn’t make sense and was a script overreach, at least for “The Die is Cast.” It’s a great pair of episodes for pure watchability and the vital character takeaways for Garak and Odo, but we’ll have to leave it at that. The mystery of “Improbable Cause” makes more sense, but doesn’t really have a satisfying ending on its own, either. Though additional props to “Improbable Cause” for working in a number of really funny lines amidst a serious investigation. I loved the bit about trying to rig up quarters for the Yalosians, who require high concentrations of benzene and hydrogen sulfide in their environments, only it melted the carpet. And I loved this one:

Sisko: “But the question still remains: why would the Romulans want to have Garak killed?”
Odo: “I don’t know. Considering those uniforms of theirs, you’d think they’d appreciate a decent tailor.”

Odo’s biology corner: Odo doesn’t have a sense of smell. Did we already know that? Is his lack of senses becoming a running gag like Bender in Futurama, where he claims to be 40% of whatever element like ten different times over the course of the show? Safe to say DS9 tries to be consistent rather than deliberately defying viewers’ ability to canonize facts about their universe.

Overall: Important episodes, and quite good, but maybe a little incomplete for the full 5. I’ll go 4 out of 5.

S3E22, “Explorers” (story: Hilary J. Bader)

“Explorers” is a well-deserved light snack break after the intense “Improbable Cause/The Die is Cast” duo. Nothing super important happens. It’s mostly everyone just hanging around. I enjoyed it.

The primary thread has Sisko buying something like a model starship kit, only it is actual size and he means to fly the dang thing through interstellar space with Jake. He wants to re-create a Kon-Tiki-like Bajoran space voyage that will probably not kill them. Mostly this serves as a father-and-son time in which Jake is revealed to have received a writing fellowship offer, and Sisko gets to geek out over his spacecraft. The ship is fun. It has giant solar sails. We are told Sisko builds it, by hand, in like maybe a week. It also has hammocks, and he is pretty excited about the hammocks. They endure some mild peril, but the episode opts not to venture into full Apollo 13 territory, focusing more on Sisko and Jake bonding.

I liked how this story provided a way to show that Sisko and Dukat are just regular pals now. Dukat hears about the voyage attempt and calls to warn Sisko about the potential danger, but mostly, I think, just to chat. (And score an invite….???) And he’s waiting at the end of the voyage for some satisfied chuckling and to coordinate a fireworks display! (Fireworks that work in space, I guess.) The real question is: are we even scared of Dukat anymore? His last two appearances are (1) when his security systems hilariously backfired in “Civil Defense” and (2) when he got thoroughly humiliated in “Defiant,” while also being sad about missing his kid’s birthday. I continue to think we’re going to see some radical change from him, if we haven’t sort of seen it already.

Meanwhile, back on the station, the maturation of Julian continues. He enjoys some random flirtation with a dabo girl named Leeta. But it’s not classic awkwardly pushy Julian. She absolutely starts it, and like, no one could blame him here. Further, he forgets about Leeta as soon as he learns that DS9 is due for a visit by an old classmate, Elizabeth Lense. She’d finished first in their class, while he settled for second, on account of botching a relatively simple exam question. He’s intimidated by her, and always wondered how his life would have turned out if he’d had the opportunities available to a Starfleet valedictorian. It all turns out fine, though. It was just some weird misunderstanding and actually they should be friends. The grass isn’t always greener and people should step up and talk about stuff that’s bothering them, rather than letting negative feelings fester. Good lessons for everyday living.

Anyway the real reason this story exists is to create an opportunity for Bashir and O’Brien to get hammered together. To quell Julian’s nerves, he and O’Brien erase a bottle of Irish whisky in a truly delightful drinking scene that might be the highlight of the episode. Memory Alpha relates that the producers loved this scene, as it helped disassociate DS9 further from the more serious TNG. They had their share on TOS, but they would never have had a drunk scene on TNG. I don’t even know who’d be involved, honestly.

Riker: [Hair disheveled, a piece of gum snarled in his beard] Hey guys, let’s…let’s call Deanna.

Geordi: [Laying on the floor, VISOR askew on top of his head] I don’t know, Will. Let’s just play some more Super Smash Brothers.

Worf: [Surrounded by sinister Klingon liquor bottles, all empty. He appears completely sober anyway.] (Sternly) Do not compel me to confiscate your communicator, Commander.

Data: I have observed that Counselor Troi enjoys social gatherings and might appreciate such an invitation.

Riker: This guy! [Sloppily hugging Data] This guy gets it! [Stops hugging, jabs finger into Data’s chest] Don’t let anyone–ANYONE–say you don’t understand humans. [He pauses, takes a drink. Swallows.] I’m calling her.

[Geordi and Worf groan. Riker tries to tap his communicator, but has a bottle in his right hand, so is clumsily slapping his left hand against the wrong side of his chest]

Nah.

Morn watch: Morn and Quark are betting on how awkward Julian and Elizabeth’s encounter would be. (Why? Do they not have sports in the future?) Morn is seen hovering awkwardly in the background.

Overall: This is a super enjoyable episode that does a lot for the show, even if it is a bit ridiculous. 4 out of 5.